The Customer is Always Right

As I stood there on the front counter, I couldn't help but smile at how lucky I was. It was unheard of for a single, 18-year old man to be independent and employed. There were very few establishments that were accommodating to our predicament. Ever since the event, it just wasn't profitable to employ men. With an average size of about six inches, women just didn't see us as useful in the workplace.

That is, except for Amanda's Adult Emporium. It's the only establishment that employs and houses men (and not just the convicts sold as toys). No, they actually house and train a staff of young men for positions in customer service, human resources, quality assurance, and sales. The owner thought that, just like a restaurant stimulating hunger through it's scents, she could get women in the right mood to buy through a staff that included young and scantily clad men.

I was one of the lucky few selected by Amanda herself. I smiled as I remembered what she said the day of my interview, "Smart and attentive, you're perfect for customer service. When can you start?" The only downside was the uniform: dress shorts, short sleeve button-up, and a bow-tie with suspenders. A little goofy for my taste, but Amanda insists it's all about the customer experience.

I smiled and continued to stare off into space, when all of a sudden the door swung open. In walked one of the largest and angriest women I've ever seen. She was well over 6 feet tall, with long frizzy brown hair and pale skin... and god knows how heavy she was. Her butt was so big I could've sworn it scraped the sides of the door as she entered. And her breasts looked like giant sacks of fat, shaking violently with every step. I couldn't even begin to guess what letter her cup size was. Her face wasn't much to look at either, with strong features, thin lips, and a big nose. She looked like she was in her late forties, with deep frown lines. Not exactly what I pictured when I thought of an Adult store. I guess the saying is true, everyone needs a little love in their life, even the large and angry ones.

The woman then grabs some poor employee and brings him within an inch of her mouth. "WHERE'S CUSTOMER SERVICE?" She screams. The behemoth looks me right in the eye and glares as she slams the associate back on the counter and begins walking in my direction.

Okay, deep breaths. I can do this.

With each thunderous step, her fat butt and huge breasts shook while her paunch jiggled. Her eyes shot daggers across the room as she continued to approach my station. In a matter of seconds, the large middle-aged woman had arrived as she dropped her purse next to me and leaned over to fumble through it.

I find myself staring straight at her jean-clad crotch. She had what I believe to be the most pronounced camel-toe I've ever witnessed. Her unsightly fat crotch stuck out and was mere inches from my face. "How could a woman select a pant-size so unflattering" I wondered. I look up and see her enormous saggy breasts hanging down over my head, encasing me in a humongous shadow as the fuming lady continued to huff and puff as she sifted through her purse.

"THERE IT IS!"

She pulled out an oddly bent, eight-inch dildo and slams it right in front of me. I stared in shock and awe at the sight before me. There she was, this heaving mountain of a woman. Wearing a white blouse that was a few sizes too small and leaving next to no hope of her ever buttoning it up, with overwhelming breasts that literally oozed out of her top as she stood there with her broken toy before me.

And this was no ordinary toy at that! This was the Caveman 3000. Strong, pliable, tested to withstand all sorts of angles and pressure. Outfitted with a suction-cup at it's base, and modelled with a realistic design. It's the go-to for women with a large appetite, but this one looked like it had been through hell and back again. It was oddly bent in the middle, littered with impossibly long, curly pubic hairs, and covered in a splotchy, almost milky, film. Not to mention the scent! WOW. It was strong.

"FIX IT!" The lady demands. I immediately tip the dildo over and sit where the bend is. I then hug the upper half and begin pulling. It doesn't budge. I slid forward, change my footing and clasp my wrists hugging tighter. Then with all my might I try and bend it. Nothing. Not a single movement. As I get up, I find that my uniform is now soiled with her dried gunk and pubic hairs. I desperately try to brush off the mess, but it continues to cling despite all my efforts.

"AHEM!" She said impatiently.

"'Unfortunately, I think your toy is permanently broken ma'am. How on earth did you manage to break it?"

"EXCUSE ME?!"

"I was cur..."

"NO, I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME. I WILL NOT BE TALKED TO THAT WAY. YOU SOLD ME A FAULTY PRODUCT AND THEN YOU ACCUSE ME OF BREAKING IT?"

"I was just..."

She then reaches down and grabs me, gripping my arms at my sides as she hoists me up to her mouth. I stare at her slight peach fuzz and her wide mouth, her thin lips smeared with red lipstick. Her eyes glaring down along her big nose, her thick eyebrows scrunched down in anger.

"NO, YOU DON'T GET A CHANCE TO SAY WHY. I WANT A REPLACEMENT, CREDIT, AND APOLOGY.

Her screams are littered with coffee-scented spittle.

"I'm sorry, but the Caveman 3000 comes with a standard warranty that covers malfunctions under normal wear and tear. This is not normal wear and tear." I explain as I look up to see her big nostrils flaring, showing off a few curly nose hairs in the process.

The woman then grabs the dildo and shoves it right in front of me.

"NORMAL WEAR AND TEAR!? SEE THOSE HAIRS, WHICH YOU'VE NOW GOT CLINGING TO YOU? THOSE ARE MY PUBIC HAIRS. AND THAT WHITE GUNK ON IT, THAT YOU'RE NOW COVERED IN, THAT'S MY CUM. AS YOU CAN SEE, I CLEARLY USED IT AS IT'S INTENDED: TO MASTURBATE WITH. UNLESS OF COURSE YOU NEED A DEMONSTRATION? YOU LOOK ABOUT THE RIGHT SIZE..."

Did she just suggest what I think she did?

"Um..no..m'am that uh, won't be ah... necess... um.." I stuttered.

"UM, UM, UM - STOP WITH THE UM'S AND DO YOUR GODDAMN JOB!" She demanded.

"I'm sorry m'am, the warranty is null and void. I can offer you a $20 store credit."

"$20, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! THE CAVEMAN 3000 IS OVER $200. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED PURCHASE WITH $20?! I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE OWNER! GET ME AMANDA!"

"Of course, can you please put me down so I can call her over?" I ask.

The woman then lowers her hand and let's me go just an inch above the countertop. I land at an awkward angle, causing me to lose my footing as I fall back towards her. I twist at the last moment hoping to catch my balance when I suddenly collide with her and find myself hugging her fat camel-toe.

"UNGH... MMMMM..." She moaned as I lay plastered against her fat crotch. "YOU LITTLE TEASE!" She said as she picked me up again and brought me to her face.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it, you dropped me and I lost my--"

"THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT YOUR CUSTOMERS? I HAVEN'T HAD RELEASE ALL MORNING, ON ACCOUNT OF YOUR FAULTY PRODUCT, AND NOW YOU... YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO PRESS AGAINST ME LIKE THAT!?"

"Please understand. It was an accident, it's my first day on the job."

"YEAH, I BET IT WAS. YOU PROBABLY TOOK THE JOB SO YOU COULD TEASE DESPERATE OLDER WOMEN LIKE MYSELF."

"No, I swear! Let me just..."

"LET YOU JUST WHAT?! HUH? YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE? I'VE BEEN STANDING HERE FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG WAITING FOR YOU TO BRING FOWARD A SOLUTION, PREFERABLY SOMETHING 8 INCHES LONG AND BUILT TO LAST, BUT THE ONLY THING I SEE IS A SLICK LITTLE 6-INCH RUNT WHO THINKS HIS GOOD LOOKS GIVES HIM THE RIGHT TO TEASE ME, AN OLDER WOMAN IN DESPERATE NEED OF A NEW DILDO. MY CUNT COULD LITERALLY SWALLOW YOU WHOLE. TELL ME WHY I SHOULDN'T JUST TOSS YOU IN MY PURSE AND REPLACE OLD RUSTY WITH YOU?"

"Oh dear lord" I worried, "she can't be serious, can she?"

"uh...I..uh I'm uh...please...I just want...I'm sorry, I will replace..."

"NO, IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT. YOU'RE COMING HOME WITH ME PRETTY BOY. NOW GET ME YOUR MANAGER!" She screamed as she slammed me back on the counter.

-Story by js109